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Saturday, February 26, 2005

Hats off to the Irish

God bless the friggin Irish. First they save the last remnants of classical civilization from the barbarian hordes in the Early Middle Ages and now this. As the bartenders from my favorite Irish haunts in San Francisco used to say (about the English language) The English invented it, the Americans fucked it up but the Irish perfected it. How true.

Irish Radio Call

A Cork Radio Station (in Ireland), 96 FM, was running a competition to find contestants who could come up with words that were not found in any English Dictionary yet could still use these words in a sentence that would make logical sense. The prize was a trip to Bali for a week. The DJ, Neil, had many callers; the following two standing out:

DJ: 96FM, what's your name?
Caller: Hi, me name's Dave.
DJ: Dave, what is your word?
Caller: Goan spelt G O A N, pronounced "go-an"
DJ: We are just checking that (pause) and you are correct, Dave, Goan is certainly a word not found in the English Dictionary. Now the next question, for a trip for two to
Bali, is, what sentence can you use that in that would make logical sense?
Caller: Goan fuck yourself!

At this point the DJ cuts the caller short and announces that there is no place for that sort of language on a family show. After many more unsuccessful calls the DJ takes the following caller:

DJ: 96FM, what's your name?
Caller: Hi, me name's Jeff.
DJ: Jeff, what is your word?
Caller: Smee spelt S M E E, pronounced "smee".
DJ: We are checking that (pause) and you are correct, Jeff, Smee is certainly a word not found in the English Dictionary. Now the next question, for a trip for two to
Bali, is, what sentence can you use that in that would make logical sense?
Caller: Smee again! Goan fuck yourself

4 Comments:

Blogger Just another American Expat said...

That was a funny one. Still, being a second generation American (my grandfather having come from Scotland) I simply couldn’t bring it upon me-self to give our Irish cousins all the credit.

What’s the old saying? There’s always an Irishman at the bottom of the barrel?

Sunday, February 27, 2005 3:40:00 AM  
Blogger Agitpropolite said...

Hey Duncan, you know what, you are pretty much right. The Scots are a very close second in my book in the accent beauty contest. But I wouldn't mention that to an Irish bartender if I wanted to keep the generous drinks flowing!

Sunday, February 27, 2005 3:54:00 PM  
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